Breaking the Cycle of Unworthiness Through Upgrading Our Beliefs
The feeling of unworthiness is a truly low vibrational feeling, and one that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. Unfortunately, it is a feeling that many of us have experienced though, for some it may even be a very familiar feeling.
Despite the way we may otherwise feel at times, we are all inherently worthy of love and to experience joy and happiness!
There's a few reasons that we may see this pattern of unworthiness repeating. One being society's screwed up standards that have created a constant demand for more progress and the suppression of emotion, love and open heartedness. These standards paired with the unhealthy relationships we may experience with people from throughout our lives is where our unhealthy patterns and cycles most likely stem from and/or where they are solidified. It's important to remember that these patterns and cycles were originally created to keep us safe, but it's also important to unlearn these cycles so they don't negatively affect all our relationships.
Usually, once we learn the feeling of unworthiness, we begin to make up and tell ourselves stories that further these lies. Society and the relationships we have in our life can definitely kick start and solidify our self sabotaging patterns but it's our relationship with ourselves that has the biggest effect on us and whether those stories stick or we release them.
The cosmic truth is, if we are unable to truly love ourselves for all our parts, shadows and all, we are unable to accept the love of others. Whether that's consciously or subconsciously no one else can fill your self-love cup except yourself.
A lack of self love creates a ripple throughout our lives that affects all our relationships and the stories and lies we tell ourselves. Your friendships, relationships with people in your family, all that has to do with love, trust, community, intimacy and vulnerability is affected by our self love.
We are worthy of love. And not only are we worthy, it's our birthright!
Where Do I Start?
Like many other facets of the healing journey, a constant theme is: we are our own biggest hurdles and best tools, and when it comes to self-love, love and our acceptance of it, this hurdle is no different. We must truly love ourselves and all our parts, sparkles and shadows in order to fully accept love from others in our lives.
The best place start is to get real with yourself about what some of your hurdles are. Get curious with yourself and get to the bottom of your lies.
What lies about yourself do you believe?
What lies about yourself do you think others believe?
What is the biggest story you are telling yourself?
What stories/lies are you telling yourself that are holding you back or stopping you from doing something? (E.x: Do you tell yourself your always busy and never have time?)
Breaking the Cycle Through Upgrading Your Belief Systems
Breaking a cycle or pattern can be difficult, especially one surrounding unworthiness. This healing journey can be more difficult when alone, but that doesn't mean it's impossible! The truth of the matter is, the mind is BEYOND powerful! Beyond our comprehension! You can do anything you put your mind to as long as you truly believe it.
1. Assess Your Belief System
It's our belief system and the way we think and talk to ourselves that will ultimately affect our cycles of unworthiness. If we believe detrimental lies about ourselves we begin to feel less than, unworthy, guilty or whatever your self love sabotage story is. Assess the stories you tell yourself and the beliefs you have about yourself and your life. What do you truly think you deserve?
2. Feel Your Emotions Fully
If you do not feel them you can not release them. Distracting yourself constantly is actively suppressing your emotions and your truth. You don't deserve that! Feel them fully, allow yourself to scream, shake, moan, cry, whatever it is you need! Then move to a space of observation, get curious and ask yourself some questions.
This came up for me. Why?
What does that bring up?
What can I trace this feeling or detrimental belief to?
3. Rewire + Reset Your Beliefs
Check those beliefs out again and this time write our the actual truth! Which is that you are deserving! That the Universe is not conspiring against you and that the Universe is in fact working in your favor!
The Universe is an amplifier! It amplifies and mirrors what we are putting out there, which is why your beliefs, the stories you tell yourself, how you talk to yourself, down to the music you listen to and shows you watch affect your life.
So take a reset and think about the truth that lies in your heart. What is your heart truly like? Do you really think you're undeserving of love? Or do you really just want and deserve more of it?
4. Commit to Yourself
Dedicate that love that you deserve to yourself and give yourself quality time to spend alone. I don't mean just a little bit here and there, but truly dedicating time for yourself. Create a schedule that allows you the space to not just focus on healing, which is obviously important, but also to play! To create! To read!
Take yourself on a date, spend time with yourself just because, and then also schedule in time for you to do your practices and spend intentional time healing. It is when we allow ourselves the full spectrum of healing, joy, and to dedication to ourselves and the practice that we can align with our truth and decipher the messages from our intuitions.
5. Reclaiming + Reparenting Yourself
Parents, family... ahhh, the deep cut. Ancestral trauma is very real and effects each and everyone of us. The detrimental cycles that have run through the veins of our Ancestors and inherently run through our veins are still here unless we are actively doing the work to end that cycle. While some of our Ancestors were very wise and have ended some cycles for us, the honest truth is that many of these are still extremely prevalent and most of us have only recently woken up to this.